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THE SECRET LOGS OF CAPTAIN JANEWAY
CHAPTER THREE -- COMMANDER CHAKOTAY
They were like book ends, my two subjects. Mr. Kim, my
cherished first, was completely obedient and ever resourceful in
new ways to bring pleasure to our sessions. Then there was Mr.
Paris who was ever resourceful in ways to challenge my authority
and delight me with his prowess. The pair of them were precious to
me. After times of extreme crisis, when I was most fragile in
private moments -- most alone in command, they were there to
comfort me. Our erotic games would be suspended and they were just
there for me insistent and persistent until I felt like myself
And I was content with them. I was content and unaware of a certain pair of eyes upon me and the incredible disruption to my utopia that was coming.
Even now, my thoughts are not completely my own. The intruder is present for this chronicle. He has read the others and insists that he be heard in this one. Right now, I, the Mistress, am left with no choice but comply. He is unbelievably persuasive. He has also generously agreed to keep my pupils ignorant of my current position. For that I am thankful. Though I still occasionally wish to squeeze the life from his arrogant and remarkable body. But I digress. I am reminded to continue my erotic chronicle and exhibitionist that I am, I continue.
I was content, as I said. However, I still noticed those around me that were not in the Mistress' rotation. I reluctantly admit that Mr. Chakotay was among those I noticed the most. Hell, I'd noticed him from day one (I'll be really honest since I'm forced to).
He was to me like the typical hero of ancient romance novels: attractive, silent, magnetic, mystical, sexual all wrapped up in a professional demeanor and crew-cut. It was damned distracting, and not just to me. I knew that Torres and at least a half dozen other women wanted him (and I won't tell my tormentor who they are, either). He was so much the professional and so private that I honestly never considered him as a candidate for anything more intimate than the occasional work-related dinner. He was certainly never a target of the Mistress. Yet somehow, he knew of her emergence.
The Mistress has kindly handed over her log for a moment. I
felt the need to interject here. Yes, I knew something on the
Bridge had changed and I knew it had something to do with the
Captain. It was subtle, but the dynamic was different between her
and some of the crewmen. I suspected that it was sexual. From the
earliest time of our trip home, I had been attuned to the Captain.
She was an intriguing mix of strength, intelligence and
vulnerability. She was beautiful and, I thought, unaware of it.
There were times when I had to come to her quarters late at
night and found her with her hair unbound in soft night clothing.
It would be hard to remember the reason for the visit and hard to
think of a reason to leave. I always left. I never pressed myself
upon her. Somehow I thought that the needs of the flesh were
Then, one day, I sensed the change in her. She became an extremely potent presence for me. It was nearly torture to be near her, but I had no proof. She would give me nothing. Her surface remained cool and professional. Mr. Paris was cagey enough that even Tuvok didn't know all he was up to. If I monitored him, he'd figure it out way too soon. That left Mr. Kim.
I couldn't ask him outright what was going on. He wouldn't have told me and it would tip off my adversary. I began to monitor his whereabouts. I knew when they met and how long they would meet. Over several weeks, I even knew the pattern of their meetings. Never when the ship was in crisis internally or externally. Only when circumstances reached what was a normal routine for Voyager. She was extremely discreet.
But not discreet enough for someone really looking. It took time, but I determined that in lulls she and Kim met on Sundays and Wednesdays. Mr. Paris was less frequent. I surmised that their encounters were more intense. The recovery time was longer. I waited for the next opportunity. The Mistress may continue.
Thank you, milord Bastard. The night in question occurred
after the ship hit an extremely smooth stride. We were well
stocked, well maintained traveling through relatively uninhabited
space. I was looking at some readings on my console when Mr. Kim
reported off. I caught his eyes as he left his post and the look
made me instantly wet and ready. It was Wednesday.
I was brushing my hair in my bedroom when the door to my
quarters opened at the appointed hour. I was, of course, wearing
the Outfit. I didn't turn right away because I figured that Mr.
Kim was getting out of his clothes. But then I felt a presence
standing behind me. That shouldn't be. I turned to find Mr.
Chakotay staring at me with an incendiary intensity.
I was thunderstruck. Absolutely speechless. He said nothing
either. Then my voice came back. What are you doing here? Where
is Ensign Kim? I confined him to quarters, he replied. There was
something about the tone in his voice that put me on edge. Janeway
to Kim, I said. He won't hear you, Chakotay said. I disabled
communications to his quarters.
Have you lost your mind, Commander? This is none of your business! No? He said. Then I realized that he was angry. He was furious. Then I got angry. I have a right to a private life, Commander. Nothing I have done has harmed this ship or those crewmen. I know, he replied. Mr. Kim is very happy -- probably better adjusted than he ever has been. Mr. Paris has learned to actually listen to orders now and then. They have been a joy to work with.
Mr. Chakotay was making me very uneasy. I tried to figure out how to get out of this situation as unscathed as possible. Look, you have to let me talk to Mr. Kim, I said. He'll be frantic. I don't doubt it, Chakotay said with more than a touch of sarcasm. Why are you so angry? He took a step closer to me looking me over hungrily from head to toe. Because, while I was keeping my desires hidden for the sake of professionalism, they were enjoying all of this.
I was stunned. A thrill shot down my spine. All that intensity; the animal passion I always sensed in him could be mine. His eyes were mesmerizing me. He need only take two steps and he would have me. But I was afraid. He would never submit to the Mistress. He was there to conquer. The Mistress preferred not to surrender. I made a move for the Equipment. He got hold of me first his strong arms around my waist manhandling me just as he is now.
I must interrupt the Mistress once again. She is a bit
duplicitous in her chronicle because she hasn't completely gotten
her way. I was angry for the time lost, but mostly I was shocked.
She looked incredible -- like an erotic fantasy. The soft leather
molded to her skin. Her hair was a soft veil about her face that
tumbled to her shoulders. I knew what the Outfit was and what it
meant, but to see the buttoned downed pinned up Captain in one was
startling to put it mildly.
When the Mistress realized that I wanted her, I saw the color in her cheeks and the glint in her eyes. She was thinking about the possibilities. I knew that she was considering them, but didn't like the terms. Her lunge for the cabinet shook me out of my trance. I caught her around the waist and moved over to the bed. She was struggling, but I managed to throw us both on the mattress and pin her down.
I was covering her arms and legs with mine, so I couldn't make her look at me. I nuzzled her hair inhaling its scent for a time. I had smelled it before by chance on many a more official occasion. This was an incredible indulgence for me. She felt so good pressed against my body. I was in no hurry. I began to kiss the curve of her neck tasting her. Her pulse slammed against the warm skin under my mouth. When I tugged at her ear with my lips, she turned her face toward me. Finally, I kissed her.
He kissed me. Makes it sound like the charming end to a
delightful date. Actually, his hot, hungry mouth crushed down on
mine. His tongue forced mine to respond to his. My subjects were
eager and enthusiastic in their kisses. Mr. Chakotay's were savage
and demanding. His body weighted me down. One leg was pressed
between my thighs. I was forgetting how furious he had made me.
I was forgetting everything except his mouth on mine and his thigh
rubbing against the crotch of my panty.
I heard myself moaning under the kiss. I felt myself holding him as he lifted me up to find the snaps in the back of the Outfit that freed me from the bra and the corset. I was nearly mindless when he lifted his mouth from mine. Let me get out of these clothes, he said. His eyes were so dark, so intense. The look he gave me made me catch my breath. I knew it would be good. I knew I couldn't allow it.
I rolled off the bed without a real plan. Hit the lights, call Mr. Paris for help (I was desperate), I didn't care. Anything that would break his concentration and kill the mood. I didn't even get a few feet away. I didn't have a chance to say anything. Mr. Chakotay had me pinned again kissing me without mercy until I stopped struggling. You are a true Domanatrix, Mistress, he said his mouth just above my lips. Your pleasure must come first. So be it.
His kiss trailed down my neck. He tasted and sucked my skin as he moved lower. His hands cupped my breasts. The long fingers stroked my nipples. I was drifting away near delirious by the time he began to suck and tease my nipples with his lips. No, please... My control was disintegrating. The moans were uncontrollable. His head was between my legs. He had removed the panty at some point, I don't know when.
Mr. Chakotay was diabolically talented. He tongued and sucked my clit until I thought I would go insane. My head rolled from side to side. I held onto his head with both hands. His hands moved up to my breasts. He squeezed them. My mind exploded the pleasure was so intense. I couldn't think anymore.
I left her lying on the bed in an erotic fog. She looked
astonishing. Her hair was spread everywhere. She still wore the
gloves and boots. Her eyes were dreamy. She was breathing deeply
looking at me as I undressed. Leaving her that night would be
nearly impossible. I wanted her so badly it was painful. My haste
made me clumsy, but somehow, the clothes came off.
Her eyes raked over me. I almost felt their heat. She didn't
fight me. Her legs wrapped around my waist as I entered her with
one stroke to the hilt. She was unbelievably hot and tight. Her
body arched against mine as I moved within her. She sought my
kiss. I gave it to her. Her tongue was frantic against mine. I
felt her passion building. She was screaming against my mouth.
Then, I let go. It was incredible, but far too quick. My appetite
was far from satisfied.
He held me afterward. I was partially on top of him. My
head resting on his chest. One arm was firmly around my waist.
The other hand was absently stroking my hair. The Captain was
moved nearly to tears by the experience. The Mistress was well
sated -- Mr. Chakotay was extremely well equipped along with being
exceptionally talented -- and more than furious. He was aware of
this. I swear he could read my thoughts.
There are times when even the most dominant must be submissive, he said intruding upon my anger. There must be a point when everyone releases control, for sanity's sake. I know you give control to Mr. Kim now and then. Certainly not ever to Mr. Paris. I didn't answer. He maneuvered me onto my back so that I had to look at him. You must let that young, strong body take control once in a while to make passionate love to you. A Mistress with your appetites couldn't resist. I reacted to the image his words conjured and he smiled. You can look upon our encounters as a chance to lose yourself in your desires for a time. I licked my lips and inhaled deeply. He was warming me with his eyes and his words. What about you, I asked. Can you surrender to me? Or are you one of those men whose manhood depends on control? He smiled wryly at that. You can't bait me into letting you go just now. He settled between my legs. He was growing harder by the second.
Answer my question, I whispered. He was looking at my lips. Once he started to kiss me, I would be lost. Yes, I could see myself surrendering to you. The Mistress has a powerful affect on me, but I won't give you the key. You'll have to find it. In the meantime....
His mouth took mine exploring without hurry. He rightly sensed there was no fight in me. Only a warp core breach could have gotten me out of bed with him. He was learning me, and I was allowing him. I held him letting myself go and just feeling everything he did...giving myself to him.
I had no illusions about what was happening. The Mistress was
seducing me with her response to my touch. Every man should be
able to feel as incredible as a lover as she made me feel. She
wasn't pretending. She was open to every nuance of feeling and
willing to show me her response. I rode her until I was near
exhausted. I couldn't get enough of making her come. There was an
amazing contented sigh she would make afterward that I wanted to
hear over and over. I nearly lost consciousness when I let go.
After a time, I had a clearer head. I realized that she was
soundly asleep. There were no illusions in this for me. She
surrendered the battle, but the war was just beginning. The
Mistress wanted blood as much as she wanted me now. Somehow, she
would make me pay for her submission. For the time being, however,
the upper hand was mine. Somewhere, I found the will to leave her.
There was something I had to do. Something that could make the
fall less painful for me when it came.
I awoke a few hours later. It was long before my shift was
due to begin. The middle of the night. When I sat up, I sensed a
presence in the room. I called for soft lights and found Mr. Kim
naked on his knees with his head bowed. I sighed with relief.
He asked permission to speak. Then proceeded to throw himself
on my mercy for foolishly angering -- though he couldn't fathom why
-- the first officer enough to prompt him to keep him from me. I
rose and went to him gathering him in my arms. It wasn't your
fault. That was all I could tell him. Stay with me the rest of
I wound myself around Mr. Kim. He lifted me up, put me in bed then joined me. I still hadn't regained my composure. Without any questions, Mr. Kim began to comfort me. He was tender and sweet and intense in his concern. I fell asleep in his arms. He slept with me for the first time through the night.
Due to the sparseness of the crew, we were able to go to breakfast without anyone knowing we'd left the same quarters. I never told him what was troubling me. He didn't ask. He was just there until I took my post on the Bridge. And faced Mr. Chakotay.
I wasn't sure what to expect from the Captain. She took her
post and listened to my report for the last eight hours with
routine comment. Her surface was placid. I could feel the cross-
currents beneath, but couldn't yet read what they meant. It was
probably because of the power of my physical reaction to her. My
need for her was worse than before. I couldn't get past it for the
The best I could surmise was that she was confused or uncertain of herself. I wasn't positive; it could easily be my ego hoping I had had that kind of affect on her -- even for the time being. I couldn't scrutinize her too closely. She was keenly aware of my movements that day. I was forced to be subdued. I watched her subjects.
Mr. Kim did as I expected. He divided his attention between me and his Mistress trying to figure out what was going on. The one that surprised me was Mr. Paris. I had surmised that he was fairly self-absorbed; however, he knew almost instantly something was wrong with his Mistress. He caught her eye once shortly after she took her post. I don't know what he saw in them, but he was alarmed. The hours preceding his break were difficult for him. I had never seen him so agitated in a time when we weren't in crisis. Janeway noticed as well. She called for him to report to her ready room at the time of his break. I'm not sure what transpired between them -- I'm encouraging her to explain in this chronicle -- but when she returned, the Captain and the Mistress were whole again. The potent edge had returned without the confusion. Her attention was diverted as well. I had a feeling that Mr. Paris was now the focus of her formidable passion.
It had not been a great morning for me. Mr. Kim had been
wonderful, I admit. He held me until I woke and stayed beside me
until I reached the Bridge, but things were not right. I could
barely command him to my bidding. I was still reeling from Mr.
Chakotay's assault. I wanted more, and I was paralyzed with fear
that I would melt in a puddle as soon as his eyes met mine.
Somehow, I survived his report. He kept away from me through
the morning, but I was already thinking of engineering a meeting
alone with him. Then, dear Mr. Paris intervened by acting like he
had a live rodent in his uniform through most of the early part of
his watch. That piqued my anger. I felt everyone had run amok on
me. I demanded he come to my ready room.
I had him stand in the center of the room and asked him what his problem was. He replied that he wasn't sure what I meant. I asked him why he was acting like a deranged monkey at his post. He replied that the Mistress must be mistaken. I stopped short and looked at him. It had been a long while since our last session. His eyes met mine. The gaze was full of desire and challenge. You've been naughty haven't you, Mister? Your own guilt makes you call attention to me, doesn't it? He lowered his eyes. Answer me, I said close to his ear. Yes, Mistress. I smiled at him. You know where to report and when, Mister. Yes, Mistress. That night, I had a glorious session with Mr. Paris. He had an amazing list of transgressions to confess under the influence of my paddle. They were particularly exasperating considering they occurred when our lives were in danger some weeks back. He explained that he felt he wouldn't live long enough to face discipline.
What am I to do with you? I was smiling, but he couldn't see me. Anything, Mistress. Just don't keep me away for so long. He was lying shackled face down on my bed. I released him and stepped back from the bed. Before the Commander's assault on me, the biggest problem I had was manacling Mr. Paris properly. He had taken to trying to pin me as I fastened his shackles. The most he had ever gotten was a forced kiss or two. They were delicious, I must admit, but entirely unacceptable.
Turn over and shackle your right wrist. As he complied, I shackled his left ankle -- then his right. Finally. I secured him on his back then began to touch his body. You are mine, aren't you? Yes, Mistress. He was arching to reach my touch. I stilled him. Mr. Paris watched me. I took my time stroking his skin. Driving him slowly mad.
Why did you provoke me today? You haven't deliberately provoked punishment since our first sessions. Your creativity in avoiding punishment has been fascinating to me. He closed his eyes and swallowed. I stroked his hair. Tell me. He looked at me and said that he was afraid the Mistress had gone. That I was acting so strangely.
That surprised me. Wouldn't you prefer to not tangle with the Mistress. He shook his head. I want to have her on my terms some day. So you want her around to keep alive the notion that you'll get to screw her senseless? He nodded with that impudent little smirk of his. And how do you plan to do that, I asked drily. I'm just waiting for an opening, he said.
Is that why you keep coming back? No, Mistress. He moaned as I petted his thighs. I'd take anything from you for this. I smiled at him. He had given me the key. I had it all along. He told me himself how badly he wanted me. We will see how badly that is.
For that, Mr. Paris found himself thoroughly ravished. I sucked him until he came. I played with him until he was ready again, then rode him until he nearly passed out. As the dear man virtually crawled out of my quarters, I began to plan my next encounter with Commander Chakotay.
I knew I was in trouble when the Captain walked onto the
Bridge the next morning. There was a subtle difference to her
walk. A slight bit more sway to her hips. She was carrying
herself differently. I realized with a jolt that she was wearing
the Outfit. My thoughts were confirmed when I looked at Kim. He
had to nearly shake himself back to the tasks at his post.
She eased into her chair and casually asked me if I had slept
well. I replied that I had not, but thanked her for asking. Then
I requested a brief conference in her ready room. She consented
and followed me inside keeping a good distance from me as she took
a seat at the desk.
How can you wear THAT during your watch? Don't you know what kind of affect that has on...on those who have seen it? Yes, she said. I could have sworn there was a purr in her voice. But my subjects have been trained to contain their reactions. I wear it for their enjoyment, and to let them know the Mistress is about. As if they could forget it, I thought. Perhaps, you need some disciplinary stimuli to help you school your reactions to me. She was smiling at me. You think you've found the key, don't you? Or maybe you don't care. Maybe you want more as much as I do. Are you afraid, Commander? I looked into her eyes and remembered the taste of her. I remembered how she made me feel. I could feel the power in her. Yes, I am, I said. Your usual time? I had lost my mind. The Mistress had a look in her eyes that should send a sensible man running in the opposite direction. I couldn't wait to get to her quarters that night. Some of it was my ego. I was partially convinced that she couldn't handle me. Some of it was intense curiosity about what she would do. The door wasn't open as it had been in anticipation of Mr. Kim. It was necessary to ring the bell. Janeway called for me to enter. The only lights inside were from candles. The air was pleasantly scented. Soft music played. Mistress, I said quietly. She appeared in the doorway. I hadn't thought it possible that she could be more enticing than before. The boots and gloves were there, as was the corset. But she wore no panties and her bare breasts were slightly hiked up. Her nipples were already hard. Good evening, Mr. Chakotay. She stroked her nipples with her right hand and stared at me. I watched her then use the same hand to touch herself between her legs. I could see the moisture on the gloves before she licked it off. As you can see, I'm more than ready for you.
I stepped toward her, but she stepped back raising a slender, leather covered rod that was about a meter or so long. It poked me in the chest making me stop. Then I saw the bull whip. She cracked it expertly over her head toward me so that the leather just missed my nose. This is MY evening, Commander. I'm primed and ready. I'm just missing a playmate. Are you ready to play, or do I summon one of the others?
Leaving was out of the question, and the Mistress knew that. She had a witchy little smile as she hungrily looked me over. I can't go, I said. Then, take off your clothes and toss them in the other room. I complied mesmerized by her body and her voice. I wasn't angry at her. Somehow, I knew whatever she did would be worth getting my hands on her and hearing that soft noise she made after coming.
Come here, the Mistress said. I walked into the bedroom. She kept her distance and her weapons. Stop and raise your arms above your head. I felt the fur lined shackles slip around my wrists and tighten. I wasn't uncomfortable, but I couldn't get free. I felt the same sensation around my ankles.
She stood before me with gleaming eyes. The whip and rod were set aside. Now, Commander, we begin our training. In this chamber, you know how to address me? Yes, Mistress. It's not going to be that simple, Mr. Chakotay. She was close enough for her nipples to graze my chest. She touched my hair, my tatoo, my lips. You have a hard mouth, but you kiss so tenderly, she said almost to herself. Her face softened. I knew she was remembering the other night.
You took liberties with the Mistress that can't be tolerated. You are allowed only what I give. Yes, Mistress. You must be punished, Mister. What should that be? It's punishment to see you like this and not touch you, not taste you...
Silence! Her voce was probably not as harsh as she intended. You WILL feel my lash, Mister. You seem to doubt that I can discipline you. May I speak, Mistress? Be careful, she said. Keeping me from you is punishment. Is it? She asked. She began to touch my body with those gloves. I felt her lips against the back of my neck. She tasted me down my spine to the small of my back. She kissed me everywhere. Her nipples brushed me almost everywhere. I was going crazy. I strained against the shackles until my wrists hurt.
Stop it! Be still. You may not harm yourself, she said. She caressed my face looking at me softly until I calmed down. You are a mix of my other two, Mr. Chakotay. You have an arrogance like Mr. Paris, but you are not deceptive. Your desires are plain to me like Mr. Kim. I know the key to controlling you, but just so you don't doubt how far I can go....I heard the whip crack before it hit the skin on my back. My skin stung and warmed in the narrow line where it struck, but it wasn't torn. It couldn't be that bull-whip. The half dozen blows got my attention, but wouldn't even leave a mark.
I felt the shackles release. On your knees, Mr. Chakotay, and answer properly. I sunk to my knees and said yes, Mistress. Hands crossed at the small of your back and lower those eyes. Yes, Mistress.
He was magnificent. So powerful, so erect. Waiting patiently
for my consent. He wanted me so much I could feel the heat
radiating from him. I considered shackling him to the bed, but
dismissed it. I didn't want to control that passion. I got on my
bed on my knees. Look at me, Chakotay. He watched me remove the
corset and the cupless bra. Now, Mister, you may have me. But you
must begin with that kiss...
I was on my back in an instant. He was kissing me in that delicious demanding way drawing me out of myself into a world of pure sensation. The first time was frenzied. He was in me without breaking the kiss. I was more than ready. I was near coming before he touched me. He brought me over several times before he spent himself.
I thought Chakotay was sound asleep as I began my new log, but he wasn't. A short, playful struggle induced me to allow him to hear the others -- he is arrogantly sure of the affect of his mouth on me. He ate me into delirium for the privilege of speaking on one. I'm considering allowing my other two to speak. It would be interesting to know how I am viewed by them.
I must end this for now. He is warming me with those dark eyes. He is looking at my mouth. I will consent again soon, but first, I must find out how he tastes....
NEXT TIME -- LT. TORRES